Life Without Him
by courtney-hanny
Summary: The sound of the music playing as they carried out the ceremony, it was his favourite song. She cried, retreating into the world that only he could pull her out of, the world where everything was fake, just how she liked it.
1. Chapter 1

**Even though I never really liked Finnick, maybe at the end I did, everyone deserves a memory, a proper funeral and a ceremony. One that was not given, when he died, he plagued my dreams for the week, his death over and over, and I wonder if Katniss felt like that, if she too, never said good-bye. **

His life flashed before his eyes, the sea, glittering in the morning light. The silver parachute that brought him the trident in his hunger games, Annie in her wedding dress, then nothing.

Katniss called nightlock three times into the holo and chucked it over the edge, exploding and killing the rest of the lizard mutts, and blowing Finnick's dying body into pieces.

Katniss ran away, leaving what was left of Finnick to lay there, with the lizard mutts, though he wouldn't know that his destroyed body was lying in the wastes.

_Annie _was his last thought, Annie in her wedding dress, Annie with his child, Annie, his one true love.

When Katniss came back, she told Annie that he didn't make it, and even though Annie knew it was true deep down, she wouldn't let it cross her mind, no, she was sure that he would walk though that door and sweep her off her feet.

"Finnick," she wailed that night, lying in a bed that was once shared by two, "where are you Finnick? Why are you gone?"

"Go to sleep Annie," whispered the nurse, who had come up as soon as she had heard of Finnick's death, knowing very well that Annie would be unstable.

"But he hasn't said goodnight," she cried, stuffing her sheets into her mouth, the thing that she did when she was consumed in grief and worry.

"I'm sorry Annie," the nurse whispered as she injected drugs into her system, pulling her into a lull, slowly pulling her into sleep, into dreams, full of Finnick and life without him.

**Short and sweet, let me know what you think, as it may become a multi-chapter. **


	2. Chapter 2

**Second Chapter is up! I really hope that you all find this story sad, as it is something that I am trying to achieve, to let everyone know that it wasn't OK for Finnick to just be forgotten, that it wasn't OK that they didn't hold a mourning ceremony, that it wasn't OK for him to die. **

She sat there, refusing to change, still wearing the clothes from weeks ago.

"Get changed," the nurse demanded, though there was also sorrow in her voice, hinting that she had some sort of idea what Annie was going through.

"Where are you? They are trying to get me to let you go, but I know you're here," She wailed, her voice wavering on the last words, ignoring the nurse's requests.

Even the voices in her head were trying to tell her that he is gone, though she didn't believe them, they lied too. They were temperamental, happy and greeting one day, then anger and despair the next, like a cycle, she welcomed and ignored them.

"He…" the nurse tried to argue but her voice died out, remembering it was Annie's husband, and that she is mentally unstable.

"He's coming?" She asked, hopes up again at the misinterpretation.

"No," the nurses sighed, trying to catch Annie as she got up and headed down the hospital ward, bare feet slapping the cold tile floor as she ran towards the elevator.

"Annie!" The nurse called from behind her, trying to desperately catch up with her, attempting to grab the back of her robe.

She laughed, the first time she had laughed since he died, "You'll have to go through Finnick first." Annie called over her shoulder and the nurse stopped in her tracks, leaving Annie to try and get in the lift, which required a code and finger scan.

"Why wont you let me see Finnick?" Annie yelled, banging the cold, steal doors of the elevator, hoping desperately that she could knock them down and get through to her Finnick.

The nurse awkwardly came forward; making sure that Annie wouldn't turn around and scream at her. "Look Annie," she said in the sternest voice that she could manage, attempting to reason with her like an adult, instead of the child that she was acting like. "Finnick, is, dead, he will never be coming back."

She paused for a moment, finally letting the words get to her, before putting her hands over her ears, disappearing into the world with the now wailing voices, mourning Finnick with her. The nurse injected her with morphling, allowing her to disappear completely.

**Also check out my story Wisps of a Cloud, which I found more emotional to write than this story. Reviews are appreciated, only authors understand how reviews make a writers day. **


	3. Chapter 3

**Sorry I haven't updated in a while, I had exams, but other then that, this is the last chapter, tell me what you think, I found it sad to write, so I want to know if it is sad to read. **

She sat in the golden sand, letting it run through her fingers as she traced her lover's name. The bright blue ocean with green highlights reminded her of him, letting her savor every second.

"Annie?" Someone asked from behind her, waking her from her daydreams, of how it was, back in District 4, before any of this happened. They sat in the sand next to her, though she ignored them, she knew who it was, who **he **was.

She stayed silent, and after some time, they grabbed her hand, making her notice them, to recognize them.

"Go away, you don't exist, you aren't here." She said as she snapped her head towards them, and their hand went flying to her neck, as it had so many times before. "Real or not real?" She knew the answer, but wanted them to answer it.

They smiled, "real and not real." They leaned in to kiss her, but she pulled away, tilting her head slightly, waiting for an answer. "Both, I do exist, and I am here but not here and I'm not going away."

She turned her head back to the sea, and her hand went back to tracing his name in the sand, the lines becoming deeper and deeper.

"Annie," they said, patiently but exasperated. Her hand stopped, fingers hanging limply in the golden sand. She buried her head between her knees, while they tried to pull her out. "Please Annie,"

"No, no, no, go away, your only making it worse." They sighed and pulled her into their arms, their strong, muscular, familiar arms.

"I need you to go back." He said, and only then did she have the courage to look up, look up into those sea green eyes, Finnick's sea green eyes.

"But its better here." She whispered, and he leaned in and kissed her gently, letting her feel her husbands lips, if only for one soft kiss.

"You need to go, for you," He said after breaking apart, he then bent his neck, kissed her stomach, "and him."

She started to cry, "I can't leave you Finnick."

He smiled sadly, "you can and you will." She shook her head, but he stopped her, and pulled her in for one last kiss. She moved in closer, hugging his strong, protecting body before he let go, and she did too.

"You will make an excellent mother." He whispered to her as she stared into his sea green eyes, one last time, before the world around her disintegrated.

She opened her eyes, and was brought back into the reality of District 4, the one with the wooden benches, with everyone wearing black. She turned her head to find that they had almost finished burying him, in his tomb by the sea. She noticed that the music, **his** favourite music, had stopped playing. She started to cry, letting the world see her tears, not afraid. Johanna put her arm around her, comforting her as she had in the Capitol cells, back when freedom was only a hope, and now a crushing reality and it made her cry even more.

**Thats the end, let me know what you think, yesterday when I was writing this in my head, I started to cry and laugh at the same time, which gave me some weird looks from my science teacher, anyway, even though it's the end of my very short story, enjoy. **


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